I am trying to process several large circumstances and frankly, not always doing it gracefully. Don’t worry, I won’t unload specifics here, but I’ve found myself wondering “How long does grief last? When will this be over? When will the pain fade?”
I don’t see how grief fits into the fast-paced-get-it-done-lifestyle. I am impatient when I have to wait in line at Costco for five or ten minutes. Or at the Pharmacy? Don’t even get me started. I have few things in my everyday routine that cannot be accomplished as quickly as I choose. Most of my day is a tightly controlled environment made by me.
To be derailed from my routine at a moment’s notice by grief is excruciating. I will be just fine one minute, and then puddling up the next. I am not in control, as much as I try to ‘get a grip.’ To have to explain to my children, “mommy’s just feeling a little sad today, but I will be alright soon” is so very uncomfortable, so raw and real.
The one fact that I have today, is that grief takes time. This morning Maria Shriver posted this article on Twitter. It’s a good reminder for me to be gentle and patient with myself…and to allow for the passage of time which brings healing.